Contractual vs Covenant Marriage

In his talk, “Covenant Marriage,” Elder Bruce C. Hafen stated, “When troubles come, the parties to a contractual marriage seek happiness by walking away. They marry to obtain benefits and will stay only as long as they’re receiving what they bargained for.” This is the popular attitude toward marriage we see in the world today, sometimes even among members of the LDS church. The world teaches us to put ourselves first and to put our own happiness at the center of our focus. This message comes through popular culture and media, in movies and in television, that teach a casual commitment to one’s spouse. Marriage is hard. It requires hard work, sacrifice, and humility.

Elder Hafen continued, “But when troubles come to a covenant marriage, the husband and wife work them through. They marry to give and to grow, bound by covenants to each other, to the community, and to God. Contract companions each give 50 percent; covenant companions each give 100 percent.” When a couple has a covenant marriage, they will do everything they can to put their marriage and their spouse first. They will counsel with their bishop for help when their problems seem beyond their capabilities. A couple in a covenant marriage will frequently attend the temple, together and individually, to seek the Lord’s comfort and guidance. They will pray together daily for each other and for their marriage. When there is any hope, those in a covenant marriage do not give up.

Elder David A. Bednar, in his talk, “Marriage is Essential to His Eternal Plan,” states, “the people of Nephi ‘were aware of the intent of [their enemy], and therefore they did prepare to meet them’ (Alma 2:12; italics added). As I read and studied, I learned that understanding the intent of an enemy is a key prerequisite to effective preparation.” We need to recognize Satan’s tactics for attacking the family. He is the one who excuses sin. Satan tells us that our needs and wants are more important than those of our spouse. He brings contention, doubts, and hopelessness into a marriage. A couple with a covenant marriage can protect their marriage against Satan’s influence by recognizing his goal and preparing for his attacks before they come.

References:

Bednar, D. A. (2006, June). Marriage is Essential to His Eternal Plan. Ensign. (https://www.lds.org/ensign/2006/06/marriage-is-essential-to-his-eternal-plan?lang=eng)

Hafen, B. C. (1996, October). Covenant Marriage. Ensign. (https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1996/10/covenant-marriage?lang=eng)

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