Divorce

Marriage trends are changing. The average age of first marriage has increased and growing numbers of couples are choosing to live together before marriage or even instead of marrying at all. Increasing numbers of children are born to unmarried mothers. And, divorce rates are around 40 to 50 percent for first marriages. Along with the rising divorce rate, divorce has become more and more acceptable in today’s society. The purpose of marriage has changed to mean more about the individual and less about children and families.

What does this mean for families and society today?

Paul R. Amato (2005) compared children in a household with both biological parents with children in a household with one biological parent. In his studies and research, he was able to answer several questions about the differences between these two groups of children. Amato points out that children with both biological parents married to each other are less likely to experience various cognitive, emotional, and social problems in childhood and into adulthood. He states, “Compared with other children, those who grow up in stable, two parent families have a higher standard of living, receive more effective parenting, experience more cooperative co-parenting, are emotionally closer to both parents (especially fathers), and are subjected to fewer stressful events and circumstances” (p. 89).

What do Latter-Day Saint Church leaders say about divorce?

Elder Dallin H. Oaks stated, “. . . for most marriage problems, the remedy is not divorce but repentance. Often the cause is not incompatibility but selfishness. The first step is not separation but reformation.”

Elder James E. Faust stated, “In my opinion, ‘just cause’ for divorce should be nothing less serious than a prolonged and apparently irredeemable relationship that destroys a person’s dignity as a human being.”

How can we reduce the negative effects of divorce?

I’ve watched many friends and family members go through the incredibly painful experience of divorce. I’ve noticed that children have the most positive outcomes when the parents at least pretend to get along during and after the divorce. Children struggle to handle the pain and stress of being in the middle of fighting parents and choosing sides. It’s best for all involved if everyone can focus their efforts on love and peace.

References:

Amato, P. (Fall, 2005). The impact of family formation change on the cognitive, social, and emotional well-being of the next generation. The Future of Children, 15(2), 75-96.

Faust, J.E. (May 1993). Father, Come Home. Ensign.

Oaks, D.H. (May 2007). Divorce. Ensign.

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